As a Republican, it’s frustrating watching Mitt Romney as the GOP candidate for President. This is the guy who’s supposed to represent capitalism versus Obama’s socialism. Some in the Tea Party complain about Obama “apologizing for America”. But it seems like Romney apologizes for capitalism. He’s got no balls. I’m no Donald Trump fan, but can you imagine him being soft on his history of investing in foreign countries?

Here are some examples of how Romney actually handles things, and how he would handle them if he had balls:

1. Critics say Romney’s businesses outsourced jobs overseas or created jobs overseas. The weak Romney response is to deny any outsourcing and accuse President Obama of doing it himself.

The “Balls” response:

Yes, some of the businesses we built created jobs overseas. That’s a good thing. We also created plenty of jobs here in the US.

We are fortunate to live in global economy. Many of us own cars, electronic devices, and other products made overseas. In doing so we all create work for people in other countries, and they use that money to buy things from us.

For all Americans who buy Haiers and Hyundais, Sonys and Samsungs, Birkenstocks and BP gasoline, you are creating jobs in other countries and there’s nothing wrong with that. President Obama blames you for problems he helped create. I thank you for sharing your success and helping to invigorate the world economy.

2. Democrats criticize the Romneys for having Swiss and Caribbean bank accounts.

In response No-Balls Romney closed the Swiss account and generally avoids talking about it. Searches on Google led to these results:
“Your search – site:mittromney.com swiss – did not match any documents.”
“Your search – site:mittromney.com cayman – did not match any documents.”

Balls Romney:

Of course I invested in other countries. It is a basic principle of investing to diversify – don’t keep all your eggs in one basket.

Ask yourself this question – if you had a substantial amount of money to invest, would you keep it all invested in the US? If you went to any responsible investment advisor, they would tell you to build a diverse portfolio including foreign stocks and bonds. You would probably have most of your investments in the US, but some in other countries. That’s exactly what I did.

Your pension fund does it. Even union pension funds and state government pension funds, like CalPERS, invest substantial sums in other countries.

The key difference between myself and President Obama is that I was investing my money. President Obama invests your money in Finland and other countries.

3. Huffington Post accuses Romney’s Bain of laying off workers.

Romney is a little better on this one, but still not strong enough. He points to how many other jobs he created, and that in net he and Bain created 100,000 jobs. He does acknowledge that some Bain ventures were unsuccessful.

Balls Romney would confront these layoffs directly:

Yes, there were investments that didn’t work out and we had to lay people off. Sometimes you have to rip the band-aid off. That’s the harsh reality of the private sector. I did what had to be done. That was private money on the line – mine and investors who trusted me to manage their money well.

That’s also the difference between President Obama and myself. When something isn’t working, I’ll end it. President Obama takes resources away from the successful to reward failures. And he does it with your money.

4. Perhaps Romney’s softest area is where he’s criticized for his wealth. We see this in complaints about him on a jet ski, his wife owning two Cadillacs, or the number of houses they own.

He did have an almost ballsy moment on the Cadillacs:
I can’t be perfect, I just am who I am and I can tell you this with regards to the cars, that was talked about last September and us, what vehicles we own, we have a car in California, we have a car in Boston. And so that’s the way it is. If people think that there is something wrong for being successful, they should vote for the other guy. I have been successful.

But that “I can’t be perfect” reference was an apology.

Balls Romney:

Of course we own some nice cars. We’re living the American dream and that’s part of it. I worked hard, took risks, and built businesses that created thousands of jobs. In doing so I made millions for myself and our investors. Owning vacation homes and luxury cars are part of the reward for our success. I won’t apologize for that.

Let’s hope Mitt Romney finds some balls in the next few months. It’d be refreshing.

And, for an amusing and completely inappropriate take on a Mitt Romney with balls, here’s a video. Apparently someone else had the same idea, only less polite.